Understanding Boundaries: The Difference Between Being Persistent and Stalking
You meet a woman in a bar that you really like, and you’re interested in more than just a drink, or even a one night stand. There’s lots of available women in Canada, but you feel like you’ve really met a diamond in the rough.
That’s great, but you have to be careful about how you approach the situation. Don’t forget that beautiful women usually have men all over them trying to get a date, so you have to be on your game. Let us tell you up front: nothing is a bigger turnoff than an over eager, overbearing man who won’t leave a woman alone, trying drive her off even if she was interested in the first place. So what’s the difference between being persistent and showing your interest, and becoming a creepy stalker? Let us lay it out for you.
The Right Way to Flatter Her and Get A Response
Women like men that are genuine, thoughtful, but also tactful and don’t break boundaries. For example, if you got to know her well enough after first meeting to get her number, send her a friendly text about getting together. Don’t name the time or place, don’t demand an immediate answer, but also be friendly. Make it clear that you really like her and are hoping for a chance – use friendly emoticons and be lighthearted. You can also offer her an opportunity that puts the ball in her court by saying something like, “Call if you want, or just text if easier!” See what she does. Keep it casual, but also make it clear that you’re definitely interested, and you’re hoping she’ll respond.
Moves That Will Creep Her Out
The stalker version of this scenario is calling her and leaving her two voicemails. First of all, calling a woman in general is always a little bit aggressive when there are so many other forms of communication, such as nonverbal communication, texting, e-mail, or even Facebook messages. Talking on the phone has always been a task and a lot of people, both men and women, avoid it if possible. If you call her up and leave her two voicemails, she’s going to delete them, never call you back, and block your number. The problem with this type of contact is that it’s confrontational and demanding. Although your actual voicemail may be no pressure and even charming; the fact that you went that far to get in touch with her is a little over the top. Calling once after she asks you to is a nice way to keep in touch, but make sure she wants you to call, and keep it short and simple.
Play it Cool and Win
When you’re interested, just like in any situation, don’t act desperate. If you’re acting too interested and trying to get a response out of her instantly, she’s going to be turned off and wonder what you’re like once you’ve actually got confirmation that she’s interested. There’s a fine line between letting a woman know you’re into her, versus making her think you’re looking for a shotgun wedding. Make sure you’re exercising restraint, and watching for negative or positive cues based on her responses.